The Most Important Invitation You’re Not Making: What Happened When He Chose Her Instead

The Most Important Invitation You’re Not Making

There’s a note on the wall near my desk that reads:
Ask yourself: Where is the most support?

It sounds like a great business principle. And it is—until you realize the uncomfortable truth buried in the question:
You will always believe there is no support…
if you aren’t actively making strong and frequent invitations.

Invitations that hold and explore resistance. Invitations that open closed doors.

Uncomfortable invitations.  

Support doesn’t float in like a miracle.

It shows up when you ask.
It meets you after the email you were scared to send, the dinner you say yes to, the event you nearly canceled on, the request you almost didn’t make.

I think of this often when I reflect on one of my favorite love stories, which is tucked inside a short email by Steve Jobs.
It’s the one about how he met his wife.

Here’s the story in brief:
Jobs was giving a talk at Stanford. The room was so full students were being shuffled out. One woman saw an open seat up front—reserved for VIPs—and she bravely took it. That one small move put her next to Jobs.

He noticed her immediately.
He got flustered. Didn't talk to her.
Finally he tried to go find her.

He finally caught up with her in the parking lot and asked her to dinner that weekend.
But on the way to his car, he paused.

And he asked himself the same question he’d later become famous for:
“If this was the last day of my life, would I rather have dinner with the important client… or with her?”

He turned around.
Ran back.
And moved the date to that very night.

They were married 18 months later.

That’s it. That’s the story.
Not magic.
Not a pre-destined soulmate saga.
Just one woman who sat in a seat she technically shouldn’t have because she really wanted to be there.
And one man who had the clarity to act when the moment appeared.

Jobs later reflected:
“You can’t plan to meet the people who will change your life… But you want to recognize it when it happens, and have the courage and clarity of mind to grab onto it.”

It’s not even really about luck.
It’s about recognition and response.

Researchers now call this the serendipity mindset—the ability to spot, understand, and act on unexpected opportunities.

You increase your luck surface area, as entrepreneur Jason Roberts puts it, by showing up, sharing what you’re doing, and making invitations—even when you don’t yet know who might say yes or even if it will work out.

That’s what I want to say to you this morning:
You don’t know where the support is (or isn't) until you make the ask.
You don’t know which post or email or dinner or conversation could change everything.

Yes, you will get disappointed sometimes. Yes, you will have to move past the start that can often be sticky, vulnerable and full of confusion. Even in scenarios that will ultimately work out. 

Because these invitations are always just a "what if"? 

But you do know what silence guarantees:
Nothing new.

So this week, consider this your moment in the parking lot.
The talk is over.
The crowd is thinning.
You can either walk away…

Or you can make the ask.

Updates on Community - Do You want to join?

The updated class on making invitations and attuning to what you will want will be added to my memberships Radiance (for women) and Embodied (for men) over the next few weeks. These aren’t programs about fixing yourself. They’re maps where your body can remember what it feels like to be safe, supported, and free to trust. 

If you are a current member or client you can expect a lot of updates to be uploaded after tonight's session, including a new practice. I'll re-cap them on the message boards in Kajabi tomorrow as well.

See you next week,
Christina

Published this week:
 

My Writing:
The Mother Wound - I had a few clients write to me that this was their favorite essay I have published. 

Thoughts On Being Told To Be Feminine

My Videos:

I published two reels on IG of embodiment options for masculine or feminine daily practice. 

A Few Things I Loved:

Bayo Akomolafe:
If you aren't familiar with him here is a great video introducing you to his work "Unlearning Western Psychotherapy" 

I love this wedding speech from the TV series Fleabag - "Love is Awful" 

This essay was sent to my private email list as part of a weekly feature called Somatic Sunday. If you want to join the list visit: https://www.christinalanecoaching.com/email